NOTES FROM THE TREES ON UNREQUITED LOVE

 

What do I owe to you

Who loved me deep and long? 
You never gave my spirit wings
Or gave my heart a song.

But Oh to him I loved, 
Who loved me not at all, 
I owe the open gate
That led through heaven's wall. 

  

Sara Teasdale

Have you been fortunate enough to be on the end of unrequited love? Yes...you heard right! Fortunate enough.

Hardly seems possible, does it?

If you think you’ve overcome longing and attachment then boom! Here it comes…Unrequited love is the litmus test!

I mean, this stuff really REALLY hurts!! People can die of it, I swear!

Because let’s be honest…we just REALLY don’t like it when we don’t get what we want!!

And as much as you think you are awake and you  no longer want anything, this one will present you with something you want more than... well ANYTHING!

AND you can’t have it!

You may have found the truth out....that Love is permeating through everyone towards and into you....but this person is one of the Universes windows you just prefer to any other window available right?

I will shamelessly steal the beautiful imagery of the talented poet Sierra DeMulder,

You will want to call him.
You will go as far as holding the phone
in your hand, imagine telling him
unimaginable things like you are always
ticking inside of me and I dream of you
more often than I don’t.
My body is a dead language
and you pronounce
each word perfectly.

 I too felt my heart was an ancient and unrecognizable language and he had cracked the code. He had translated the words and secrets to every chamber and now inhabited every room.

And once awoken to this…the mind will go nuts and tell you that if only you do this, this and this or don’t do this this and this, they too will or would have recognized you... just as you have recognized them as the secret keeper of your ultimate heart.

It is so romantic...... And so completely futile!

I’ve experienced it before, like many. Who didn’t hopelessly fall in love during their formative years with a muse that didn’t return the favour? And the heartache at that time... one you think will never ever end... but strangely enough does... eventually. It is a valuable gatepost in growth knocking the edges off our teenage sharpness.

At this stage in life though... i.e in the lighthouse... it’s something altogether more present.  Though it still sweeps bitterly through the open heart like a tornado of both fire and ice touching every grief, every loss and every longing... it gently carries with it the fragrant seed of ultimate love.

 That of Unconditional Love.

In fact.. this may be one of the best gateways in! 

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WHAT THE TREES HAVE TO TEACH ABOUT LOVE

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer”

Albert Camus

In the bittersweetness of this profound merging and recognition with another and its merciless hopelessness, I walked to the trees who opened up and accepted all of it into their fabric and core like a delicious nectar food.

I cried myself into a lichen bearded sage who could not take it away and yet still never moved from my side.

Trees let everything into their being, without limits. Take a look and you will find all myriad of tiny creatures, mosses, fungi and insects that trees let inhabit them fully without condition. They never stop opening or giving and they follow their seasons and times depending on the weather. So it is to live with an open heart. 

All are welcome in the temple of love.  

Yet they have something to teach us about boundaries. When it is warming in spring, even at other times when it is mild, they will bud and sprout forth. If it gets cold again during spring, they will stop the budding process. They have an innate instinct and sensibility about when to open and when to close. 

Your heart too is being asked to remember when to shoot forth and when to hold still and contain the promise of great love within itself. 

On a practical note, this means that if somebody wants you they will make themselves known and available. If they don’t want you, then have the self love and grace to let go. 

It is simple. The mind, however, will try to make it very complicated.

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MOVING INTO WHOLENESS AND NOT NEEDING

So, if you too are suffering the effects of this beautiful yet painful teacher.. this, for what it's worth is what I feel may be true. 

First of all, it’s not your fault! It happens all the time.

Second: Have the good grace to go away when someone doesn’t want you. If you want me, I will be there. If you don’t... I won’t be there. It’s as simple as that. It’s just basic manners!

Third: Who that person loves is not your business, just as who you love is no one else’s business. Got it!

Four: Just in case you were getting confused here; I guarantee you that a “soulmate” is someone who wants you just as much too!

Five: Make something out of it, some art, some poetry, some music, dance to it.. do anything! Just give it a place to express itself. Some of the best artistic works on the planet have come from the wellspring of Unrequited Love

And finally: I am pretty sure that the ONLY real cure for unrequited love is pure Unconditional love of yourself AND that person. So allow that to happen in that order and something very magical will start to happen. The love will grow and grow and grow and spill out into everything around you!

To love someone completely you truly have to meet them in a place of wholeness..not a place of need.

Though it hurts now.. the pure experience of being nothing special to someone you have made the entire centre of your own universe will be worth the teaching alone! 

And very last of all: YES..it's a work in progress! so be gentle with yourself. 

You may wonder why this happened, but really, if you let it ‘have you’ completely and stop fighting it... it could well be the way in to the deepest most profound part of your heart.

And when you do meet the one who ‘recognizes’ you back, they will be truly grateful for that!

Go and hug some trees!

This too shall pass

Promise:)