NOTHING WAS EVER BROKEN - THE GIFT IN HEARTBREAK

Recently in a silent retreat with my eyes closed and the balmy summer breeze floating into the hall

I heard a butterfly trapped in the top balcony, desperate and exhausted to get to the outside,

seeing its true home was just a small, glass vale away from the ‘prison’ of the room.

Have you too felt like this?

Exhausted of trying to get ‘there’?

The magical plateau in life that once you reach,

 it will all be over and life will always be great all the time.

Having an intellectual understanding of truth but not ‘realizing’ or living it?

Still feeling stuck in the mind's stories, the personality, knowing that it is not all you are, 

but not knowing how to get to not being there either!

It’s tiring just to write it down, yet we live it over and over..and over.. and….

Whilst the butterfly struggled, the nearby church bells rang sweetly.

Ah yes! The bells of the heart, the alarm call to remind you to come home

Papaji said ‘call off the search’ and this is the sweet truth of it.

The butterfly struggled upstairs (in the mind) whilst all the windows and doors

downstairs (in the heart) were open.

The butterfly, like you beautiful one, was always free.

She was simply looking out of the wrong window, dwelling in the wrong room of the house.

And when you spend your life there,
 in suffering, knowing there is something beyond this,
 but not knowing how to get there
 and you can’t get into the right room....
what then???

Well, then a miracle happens and grace hears your call.

And once you are truly exhausted, tired, frustrated, angry and confused and cannot go on,

then grace does the most clever and intelligent thing it can.

It breaks your heart.

A crack

Just big enough for you to fly through.

It’s the breaking that ends the lie of separation.

For that beautiful one,  is what is actually hurting you most.

Dwell in your heart and know

Nothing was ever broken.

There was no glass.